NSTR

Seriously, if ever there was a 'nothing significant to report' post, then this is it. I dragged myself out of early in the dark, even though it's summertime (work blows). Didn't get to hear from DM, so I was also grumpy. I was tired. Tired of always fighting against the flow of stupidity. Consequently, I spent most of the day at work fighting off sleep. I got so tired at one point I had to get up and do something active. So I started to tidy up at work. Those who know me know that keeping things neat is not one of my strengths - and tidying falls right down there at the bottom of my list of preferred activities. And then I did a wanky online training course. I spent about 2 1/2 hours on it and didn't even get through half of it. Ugh. So much to look forward to tomorrow...

And basically, that was my entire day. Exciting, huh?

Australian Politics 101

By popular demand, a quick explanation of some of the quirkier facets of Australia's political system. (Actually, it was by JG's request, but she's popular, ergo it's popular demand.)

Australia's official head of state is Her Majesty The Queen. According to the constitution, executive authority in Australia is vested in The Queen. However, with The Queen firmly ensconced in Great Britain, she requires a representative in Australia - which is where the Governor General comes into the picture. The GG is, thus, the official representative of the head of state, although the Prime Minister is the functional head of state.

It all sounds a bit complicated, but it's fairly simple - at least when you grow up with it. But I am seeing now how odd it must appear.

A significant degree of the GG's role is ceremonial, and when exercising executive powers (such as regal assent for legislation), the GG acts on the advice of federal Ministers - who are directly elected. There are, however, four 'reserve powers' that the GG can enact without such advice:
1. The power to appoint a Prime Minister if an election has resulted in a ‘hung parliament’;

2. The power to dismiss a Prime Minister where he or she has lost the confidence of the Parliament;

3. The power to dismiss a Prime Minister or Minister when he or she is acting unlawfully; and

4. The power to refuse to dissolve the House of Representatives despite a request from the Prime Minister.

As far as I know, there has only been one instance in which the GG has enacted a reserve power without recourse to Ministerial advice. In 1975, GG Sir John Kerr dismissed the government of Gough Whitlam when the Senate blocked the passage of the budget. It was, naturally, a controversial decision and saw the birth of arguably the best known Australian political quote:
"Well may we say "God save the Queen" because nothing will save the Governor-General,"spake Gough Whitlam immediately after his dismissal.

Go BUCKEYES!

CRUSH MICHIGAN!

A Little Recognition

Today Australia paused to honour those servicemen, service women and Defence civilians who deployed to Iraq as part of Operation CATALYST. Catalyst, the Australian contribution to stability operations in Iraq came to a close in July of this year when the Aussie flag was lowered for the final time over the Aussie HQ in Baghdad (though we still have a small number of forces deployed in Iraq providing protection to embassy personnel). Over 17,000 Aussies deployed to Iraq between 2003-2009 (myself included). Now, I know that sounds like a small number and in many ways it is, though considering the combined strength of Australia's Army, Navy and Air Force is around 57,000 it's not a bad effort.

I turned out to march in the parade, and it was great to be able to catch up with some friends I served with but had lost touch with. And it's nice to be recognised a little. I got to speak to the Governor General (Australia's nominal head of state - and an amazing woman overall), the Prime Minister and the Chief of Defence Force. It was humbling to have them all thank me.

I am proud to have served my country and served alongside some great Australians.

Over it

I am so over this deployment already. Frankly, it just blows. I hear people talk about how a deployment makes you grow as a person, how it teaches you things about yourself. Yep, it does. But by the time DM deployed, we had already lived 9,000 miles apart for 3 1/2 years. There wasn't much more about myself/living by myself I could learn. I already know I can handle whatever happens on this deployment (like appliance exploding - my vacuum cleaner for example) because I've been doing this whole independent woman thing for a hell of a long time. So I don't feel much like I'm growing during this time. Frankly, I just feel like I'm missing out. And yeah, I know I'm having my own little pity party here, but there is nothing good about yet another year forced apart.

Jerkdom

I was on best friend duty tonight as my best friend got dumped by some jerk who clearly had no concept of how great he had things. So it was takeaway, chocolate and bad tv (Army Wives - so bad it's good).

She's had a horrible run of it lately, and is thinking of swearing off men for good. I told her I was going to change the Thanksgiving theme for our party next week to something involving piniatas and voodoo dolls. She seems good with that. I also suggested we find someone with a dog and brown paper bags and leave him a gift, but that didn't seem to fly. Neither did the toilet papering or the egging. Whatever, I might do that by myself anyway ;)

But more pressing, her birthday is on Tuesday (see, the jerk even had mean timing). So I have to come up with something really spectacular for her. I was thinking of getting some close friends together for a surprise dinner at one of the really great restaurants here. But I am completely stumped as to what to get her for a gift. So I'm hoping one of you lovely ladies is willing to share some genius or inspiration with me.

Spy Games

In my organisation, about 80-90% of the people there have a particularly high degree of intellectual curiosity. It's one of those attributes that's fundamental to what we do. And if there's one thing I know just about everyone I work with is fascinated by, it's stories of espionage. I don't know if it's the pervasive pop-cultural shaping provided by James Bond (who doesn't love him?) or what, but to start a discussion about the Philbys, Pollards or Wispelaeres of the world is to write off the afternoon.

And I'm no exception. To satisfy my own curiosity at the moment, I'm reading The Bureau and the Mole - about Robert Hanssen, the FBI agent who spent years spying for the Soviets. Hanssen is sometimes described as the spy who has done more damage to the US than any other - and reading about the information he passed to the Soviets, it's easy to see why.

Hanssen was, of course, eventually discovered. After all, the FBI always gets its man, right?

And he's now spending 23 hours a day in solitary in a supermax. Maybe it's because of what I saw in Iraq - how essential good information security it is, and how breaches can lead to deaths. But I figure 23 hours isn't long enough - life in jail couldn't happen to a nicer bloke.

Swine Flu

I've got it.
Well, sort of.
Ok, not really at all.

I had the swine flu vaccination today because I'm a good corporate citizen.

It was about the only good thing to happen. Yeah, getting stabbed with a virus was good. I got free jelly beans out of it after all.

I finally came up with a new plan for my lackadaisical employee - ride him mercilessly. I have high standards for my guys - probably higher standards than are expected elsewhere in my organisation. But most of them are good with that. They see the good results that come our way and know my standards make them better at their job, putting them ahead in the promotion stakes.
It's not working with mr lackadaisical yet, but I am confident it will. And it will certainly make him better at his job and more competitive with his peers - provided he listens. So far all I can tell is that he hates me. But managers aren't made to be friends. If he develops it will be all the thanks I need.

Day 45 (of 365. Sigh.)

Where do I even begin?
I rocked up into work slightly late this morning - usually I am there by 0715, but I was a lazy shnoozlebutt this morning and well, Mondays just don't inspire me that much. Anyway, I still got there with plenty of time to do all I needed to do*. Apparently, however, one of my guys also believed he had more than enough time to accomplish things**.
After I had recovered from the shock, unf###ed his work, and still made the deadline, I composed myself***.
And for the rest of the day I was perfectly calm****.

But you know what made everything ok? An email from DM was waiting in my inbox when I arrived. And all it said was "I love you and hope you have a great day - no one deserves it more!"
So, maybe his wish didn't entirely come true, but he mellowed me and made me smile regardless of my workplace.


* That is, there is plenty of time provided I stay at least 12 hours and don't respond to ridiculous tasking. Unless I have to. Which is most days. But I digress...

** More than enough time to, say, go socialise just 15 minutes before the first task of the day is due. The one he volunteered himself to be responsible for. The one he "wrote, then kinda got bored so I thought I'd take a break first and think about it." The one that goes straight to the guy who can pretty much fire us all on a whim.

*** On Monday mornings before 8am, apparently 'composing oneself' for Wiley consists of tearing one of her staff members a new one. Possibly in public, though no one can prove that.

**** In as much as I was livid. And still can't get over the depths of some people's poor judgment.

And the Cardinal Goes Rolling Along

Like last weekend, I am absolutely stoked that both the Buckeyes and the Cardinal pulled off victories, handing OSU another Big 10 title and the Cardinal a shot at the Pac10 title. In fact, I am more than stoked - Stanford handed USC an absolute pasting and did it in the coliseum.

When I was a kid my dad moved us all to Palo Alto. We only lived there for a touch over six months, but it was one of the best experiences of my life. I mean, what kid wouldn't want to be introduced to Halloween, Baskin Robbins, Baseball and football? All in the most perfect climate. I was sold and vowed that one day I'd get back to Stanford to do a degree (I toy with the idea of doing a PhD one day, but let's face it, that's not very likely). In the meantime, I feed my desire by cheering for the Cardinal.

A Blog A Day

So I guess because it's past midnight I don't quite meet the blog-every-day-in-November deal. But I tried. It just happened that it was a Friday night after a shitful week and drinking and dining were that much more important than blogging... Sorry about that.

Practice What You Preach

Almost without exception, the guys that work for me are tremendous. Almost. There's one who... well, isn't quite committed to the team, the mission or the organisation. And it drives me crazy. I have old fashioned values of service and loyalty and I really feel that if you're not fully committed to your organisation's mission then you should make room for someone who is. What I do isn't just a job, it's a calling.
But it turns out it's really hard to motivate someone who doesn't feel the same way. It's also hard to counsel them when they're adequate, but certainly nothing more than that. Lord knows I have tried and failed. I've tried being nice. I've tried being not so nice. Tried training. Tried recognition. Tried opportunities. Tried discipline. I pretty much tried the lot. The fundamental problem seems to be that he believes he should do my job. So I tried letting him do it for a couple weeks while I was doing my boss' job. He failed. But clearly not in his mind.
So now I'm trying to ignore the problem for a while. It's the opposite of what I preach, but frankly it's about all I have left. And it will have to do until I determine a new plan

Good news story of the day

An Australian mine detection dog that went missing in Afghanistan in 2008 has been found alive and well!

Black Labrador “Sabi” was recovered by a US Soldier at an isolated patrol base in Oruzgan Province, after going missing in the same September 2008 battle during which Trooper Mark Donaldson, VC earned his Victoria Cross.

Not only is it a great result that Sabi has been returned to her handlers, but she is a part of living history - the Victoria Cross is Australia's highest medal awarded for valour in battle. I can only imagine how trilled the troopers were when they found out about Sabi. Truly awesome.

Who says Coalition Forces aren't doing any good in the Stan??

The scourge of war

There are some things you never forget. Like the unique sound a rocket makes as it whistles over your head; the way it makes the adrenaline surge through your body; the way it makes you wonder if it's your time to go. The rocket incident was my introduction to Iraq - happened less than a week after I arrived. Courtesy of the wonderful neighbours I had there, it wasn't the last.

But today I got to relive it all over again, this time courtesy of the wonders of modern technology. DM bought an Afghan cell phone so he could keep in touch with me when he was traveling (yes, he is amazing like that). He called me this morning to test it out. There I was, lying in bed, talking to my love, nary a care in the world, when I heard that unmistakable sound again - followed by swearing and running as DM headed for cover. You better believe I swore just as much and my heart was pounding just as fast as his.

There are some things I'm really thankful for my time in Iraq for giving me. But still being shit terrified by unexpected noises (I love fireworks...) isn't one of them.

Dark Arts

There are a couple of professions that I'm pretty sure rely on the dark arts. One is imagery analysis (look at that smudge, it's definitely a mk 42 tank...!) The other is taxation accounting. Yep, today I had my annual visit to my accountant. I really didn't need to - I could have added up the sums and filed my tax return myself - but let's face it, I'm just lazy. Really lazy. Especially with numbers (ask me about the score I got on the sample GRE I took...)
Plus, my tax agent practices the dark arts. You wouldn't know it to look at him - an overweight, middle aged guy who couldn't be more grey (see, he even uses cloaking spells). Every time I go to have my tax return calculated he fiddles with this, muddles with that and, ta-da! Out comes a bill substantially smaller than I could ever figure. When I ask him how he does it, he casts a befuddlement spell over me before explaining. So I'm never quite sure what he's done. But he seems to charm the Tax Office and they couldn't be happier.
I guess he uses his magical skills for the social good - and I'm not about to stop using him, that's for sure - but I just can't shake the feeling that when he closes his office door after I leave he's whipping out the cauldrons and ox blood and casting spells that exploit the loopholes in the space-time continuum (or perhaps just the Taxation Act, but same, same!)

Total Grossness!

If you are squeamish, stop reading now.
I'm warning you. This is so gross. Gross enough it made one of the guys who works for me squeal like a girl.

I had to go to the doctor today (I am one of those sickening people who never has to go see the doc). Why? Well, I awoke in the middle of the night last night because I felt something in my ear. I thought it was me hair, so I brushed it back. But the sensation continued. I flicked away my hair again, more frantic this time, thinking there was a bug on my hair. Not quite.

No, the bug was


... ick...

in. my. ear.


Not on the outside of the ear, but in my goddamn ear canal!

See what I mean about grossness? So I had to go to the doc so they could, um, extract the unpleasantness.

Even thinking about it gives me the willies. Not sure how well I will sleep tonight. UGH.

More of the same...

Not much to report. I'm busy burying myself in work - it's a good way of passing the time, especially when I come home to eat dinner and sleep and that's about it. DM jokes that I'm trying to live a deployment at home. It's not a bad way of doing things, but I'm more or less constantly exhausted.
I'm also more or less constantly frustrated - by the deployment, the constant learning curve that is being a manager, the craziness that is the run-up to Christmas and, of course, the sexual deprivation. All of which is probably contributing to my long days at work.
That and I work with some of the loudest, most extroverted men on the planet. I am sure of it. And I work in a cube farm - no corner office for me. So quiet time to review stuff or write only comes after 6pm. I used to find this in Iraq, too (though that was worse because there were about 100 of us working in a round room with marble ceiling, walls and floor - it sounded like a steel mill most days). I would spend all day running around putting out spot fires for my guys, and I'd only get down to 'my' work after shift change each night.
But truth be told, I love the constant challenges. I thrive on pressure and I get a real kick out of seeing one of my guys hit a home run or achieve more than he thought he could. And I'm a stubborn b*tch, so I go down swinging for them (and yeah, I admit it, I love a good stoush).

None of this helps me eat dinner before 9pm though...